Relationship Abuse Recovery

1.What brought you to consider taking this survey?

I have been a victim of relationship/domestic/narcissistic abuse

I want to know if I have been a victim of relationship/narcissistic/domestic abuse.

I don’t seem to be able to move on with my life after being in an abusive relationship

I want to know how to recover from an abusive relationship

I am just curious about the survey

None of the above/prefer not to say

Other (please specify)

2.What is your age range?

16-18

19-25

26-35

36-45

46-55

56-65

66-75

76+

3.Are you still in an abusive relationship?

Yes – please only answer this survey if it is safe for you to do so

Not sure

Not Applicable

4.Thinking about your relationship, did any of the following apply to you? (tick all that apply)

My partner did not respect my needs – my needs came second most of the time.

Arguments went round in circles where I could not get any resolution or find ways to agree to disagree.

Arguments ended when I agreed totally to what my partner wanted.

I had to give in to what my partner wanted for a peaceful life.

I often had to apologise for things I had not done.

I was told frequently that my ‘memory, my mind’ were wrong or that I was crazy when I asked about things I were certain were untrue.

I was not able to de-escalate an argument, no matter how hard I tried.

My partner often broke rules – sometimes small things, and sometimes even law breaking

My partner was charming outside the relationship, but could be scary in private.

My partner suddenly changed from being nasty to nice if someone else was around

My partner controlled what I ate, when I ate or constantly criticised my cooking

My partner encouraged me to cut off contact with friends or family

My partner often lied about things

My partner believed that they were special in some way

My partner believed that they deserved special treatment

My partner got very angry if they could not have what they wanted, when they wanted it.

My partner could be very charming to some people.

My time and whereabouts are monitored by my partner

My partner controlled what I said to other people

My partner often started the arguments and if I became upset or angry, they would blame me for hurting them.

None of the above

Not applicable

5.Did any of the following apply in your relationship? (tick all that apply)

I sometimes felt worried about how my partner would react, so I had to change my behaviour (walk on eggshells)?

I was threatened of what would happen if I left the relationship

I was not allowed to work or study

I had to abide by my partners rules and timekeeping

I had to have permission to leave the house

I could not say what I was really thinking and feeling without negative consequences

Other people did not know how bad things got when we are alone together

I was isolated from friends or family

I was not allowed to tell other people about our relationship, even if things get very bad

I was deprived of food, shelter, sleep or medical care

I regularly received harsh criticism, name calling and insults by my partner.

My finances were controlled by my partner

Blackmail was used to make me stay (eg threatening to publish intimate pictures).

I was forced into illegal activities.

I was forced to marry.

None of the above

Prefer not to say

6.In this relationship have you experienced any of the following (tick all that apply):

My partner has hit me , assaulted me or thrown objects at me to harm me

My partner has tried to choke me

Animals have been harmed by my partner

Children have been harmed or hurt physically by my partner

My life has felt in danger

I have been yelled and screamed at for long periods of time

I have been attacked whilst I slept

I have been terrified for my safety, my child’s safety or animal safety

I have been sexually abused

I have not been allowed to go to hospital or for treatment for my injuries.

I have had to lie to medical staff about how my injuries have occurred.

None of the above

Not applicable

Prefer not to say

7.When trying to leave the relationship, who did you tell?

No-one

Just one person

Friends and family

Abuse charity

Domestic Violence Caseworker

People I knew personally

Work Colleagues

Solicitor

Police

Doctor/Medical Profession

Counsellor/Therapist

Not applicable

Prefer not to say

8.How long have you been trying to recover from your relationship?

Not applicable - still in the relationship

Less than 6 months

6 months to 1 year

1 year to 2 years

2 years to 5 years

5 years to 10 years

10 years - 15 years

15 years plus

None of the above

Not applicable

9.What help have you already had to help you recover and get over your relationship? (tick all that apply)

Friends and family

Support Groups

Speaking to a specialists such as charities

Counselling or therapy

Refuge accommodation

Online chat or email support

Legal support

None of the above

Other (please specify)

Relationship Abuse Recovery - UK